Column: Some old advice for disciplining children

"He that keepeth the law, happy is he..." -- The Bible, Proverbs 29:18

A few weeks ago I devoted this column to crying infants and unruly children in church. Although I had only one negative response from a woman who seemed to miss the whole point, she somehow got the idea that I advocated leaving children at home when the main point of my essay was simply to remove them from church when they cry or become disruptive.

I received by far the largest verbal response of any column I've ever written, 100 percent favorable. The only verbal reservation came from two people who thought I should have included restaurants.

Anyway, one reader gave me the following New American Bible (Catholic) Old Testament quotation from Sirach 30 (Ecclesiastes) which I'm dedicating to you parents who don't believe in disciplining your children, or who think children are within their rights bothering other people:

The Training of Children, Sirach 30

1. "He who loves his son chastises him often, that he may be his joy when he grows up."

2. "He who disciplines his son will benefit from him, and boast of him among his intimates."

3. "He who educates his son makes his enemy jealous, and shows his delight in him among his friends."

4. "At the father's death he will not seem dead, since he leaves after him one like himself."

5. "Whom he looks upon with life through joy, and even in death without regret."

6. "The avenger he leaves against his foes, and the one to repay his friends with kindness."

7. "He who spoils his son will have wounds to bandage, and will quake inwardly at every outcry."

8. "A colt untamed turns out stubborn, a son left to himself grows up unruly."

9. "Pamper your child and he will be a terror for you, indulge him and he will bring you grief."

10. "Share not in his frivolity lest you share in his sorrow, when finally your teeth are clenched in remorse."

11. "Give him not his own way in his youth, and close not your eyes to his follies."

12. "Bend him to the yoke when he is young, thrash his sides while he is still small, lest he become stubborn, and disobey you and leave you, and leave you disconsolate."

13. "Discipline your son, make heavy his yoke, lest his folly humiliate you."

Pretty tough, huh? Too tough? Antiquated and no longer applicable in this enlightened new age? I can see a whole bunch of you young parents who may have been raised by parents who were abusive, rebelling against the wisdom of Sirach. But did your abusive parents also give you an equal amount of love? Probably not, and that's the difference between parental authoritarianism and the "tough love" of Sirach.

From where I sit, today's young fathers have abdicated the role of family leader. Maybe it's because our current workplace requirements don't allow enough time for fathers to bond in all ways with their kids. But I think political correctness and the women's movement have more to do with it. I see fathers striving to be buddies with their children, afraid of confrontational discipline beyond lip service, and their kids know they can get away with almost anything.

The only exception I see to this is with families who raise their children with strong biblical ties to both the Old and New Testaments. This is why I favor Sunday School over church for youngsters under 10 years old. Sunday School can be the ideal place for Bible studies. It's a fact that parents and children who both study the scriptures communicate with each other far better than those who don't, achieving balance between love and discipline.

To change the subject, it isn't very often that I have the opportunity to witness for Jesus Christ in my columns so please bear with me. I recently came upon one of the most exciting novels I've ever read. It's built around the final book of the New Testament, "Revelation." "Revelation" is without doubt the most difficult, perplexing, misquoted and misunderstood of all 66 books of the Bible, and it's probably the most important.

If I were a nonbeliever, I'd be forever thankful to anyone who would expose me to this book. The title is "Left Behind," by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins, and while it's more typically a book you'd expect to find only in religious bookstores, something unexpected happened and millions are being sold everywhere. I got mine at Costco.

I'm not going to reveal the story except to say it combines a great fictional thriller with "Revelation," and you'll likely understand "Revelation" for the first time. I challenge you to read 20 pages and then try to put it down.

Bob Thomas is a Carson City businessman, local curmudgeon and former member of the Carson City School Board and Nevada State Assembly.