Send in the recall clowns

Don't you just love the California recall election? It's got boobs (both kinds) and all kinds of accents, giving our naturalized citizens a chance to practice their English.

We think that, since it's going to cost California an arm and a leg, the people who signed the recall petitions should have to pay for it -- Nevada, pay attention -- that way, the counties wouldn't be taking more of the money they don't have to pay for this circus.

Oh, well, the clowns are fun to watch.

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The latest news says that Americans are fatter than ever. They also say that the airlines are going broke. So, let's do the math here... fat bottoms, skinny seats... If the airplanes were comfortable, more of us would fly! If more of us fly, more money for the airlines. No rocket science here. Get the message United? American? _________? (fill in any airline you want)

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Ahhh, bicycle riders ... you love 'em, you hate 'em. But get real, guys. The law says you're on a vehicle and you ride with the traffic.

You also need to stop at stop signs, pay attention to crosswalks and stoplights, and signal which way you're going. We get tired of riders who sail through stops and swerve in and out of traffic and expect cars to let you through. If it's a duel between you and a car, you're toast.

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How about a Galleria in Carson? The city fathers are looking to recover some of the taxes that have gone south to Douglas County, so why not encourage the likes of Neiman-Marcus, Nordstrom's, Bloomingdales, Saks, etc. to develop something like they have in Roseville?

The city has discovered that a great many people go to Reno to shop, and the Reno people go to Roseville ... sooooo, if we had a Galleria here, we could get the Douglas County trade, along with the Lake Tahoe crowd, Reno, Dayton, points east, and get the taxes back in the city.

Seems to us, the Lompa property would be wonderful for a project like that. But don't count on us becoming fashion plates if it happens.

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And speaking of Douglas County, we resent the businesses that have built "over the hill" to advertise that they are in Carson City.

Ha, you use the name, you send us residuals every time you use it. Maybe we can recover the taxes that way.

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Ever notice that the more the stars and studios really hype a movie, the bigger the bomb? Good films seem to stand on their own.

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Editor Barry Smith has told us not to bother dusting off our mantels for a Pulitzer or a Nobel prize. Damn. And we thought we were writing "literchur."

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Many thanks to the nice man with the bucket seen on Bonanza Drive who was going along picking up other peoples' trash alongside the road. People like that make it nice for the rest of us.

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And for those of you ladies in love, we leave you with an MHJ poem:

"I love you, Babe," he says.

He hasn't a clue to your name.

If you think that's just fine,

And you fall for his line,

You have only yourself to blame."

Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse having been expressing their opinions on Carson City goings-on for years. Now, they're in the Nevada Appeal. Send your questions to editor@nevadaappeal.com.