Saying goes 'break a leg,' not a wrist

We've finally figured it out ... the National Guard has been sent overseas to protect Iraq, instead of guarding the fort here ... apparently they will be there for some time, so the NRA can take up the slack ... everyone should rush out and buy their AK47 or Uzi today ... it will pep up the economy and make us feel ever so much safer ... problem solved! Not!

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Robert Bruce, the director of Proscenium Player's upcoming production, "Trust," didn't remember the old theatrical saying, "Break a leg!" Instead, he fell off a ladder and fractured his wrist, had to be hospitalized and had it pinned in five places.

However, in the old tradition of the theater, "the show must go on," and it will.

"Trust" will open this Friday at the Brewery Arts Center, 449 W. King St., Carson City along with the usual "opening night party." It will also run April 24, 30, and May 1, 7 and 8. Showtime is 8 p.m. with no late seating. For reservations and information, call 883-1976.

The play deals with "mystery, invention, lies, love and trust," and is for mature audiences only ... we'd say "break a leg" again, but we're afraid we'd hex Robert's other wrist ....

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With all the "extreme makeovers" going on, we heard about an 80-year-old woman who had breast augmentation ... ahhh, now there's a lovely vision ....

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Congratulations to the veterans in our area who just received their diplomas from Carson and Douglas high schools ... and thanks ....

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Teri Vance, reporter for the Nevada Appeal, and Travis Torngren, a first-year medical student at UNR who works at the Ross Clinic on Tuesdays, each gave a talk on Easter Sunday at the university's Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- day Saints ... it is nice to report that, even though Maizie went to hear them at Travis' invitation, the church is still standing ....

Teri told this story about her mission in Ecuador ... she and a friend were riding on a bus toward Guayaquil, when they decided to get off to take a shortcut. They got off the bus and Teri nearly stepped into a 5x5 hole in the pavement. She smugly protested to her friend that "in America they would have barriers and tape to keep people from falling in" ... her friend replied, "In Ecuador, we walk around them ..."

In spite of the warning, Teri forgot where she was, and fell in anyway. As people were helping her out of the hole, she said, "I'm sooooo embarrassed ... I can't get on the next bus because everybody on the bus saw me." Her friend looked at her and said, "Everyone on the ground saw you, too ... so hop on ...."

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It's always heartening when a doctor tells you to make an appointment three to six months down the road ... at least you'll know you'll live that long...they wouldn't want to lose the money ....

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Al Nicholson had his hammer toes on both feet operated on, so he's now doing what he does best ... watching racing and lounging in his recliner ... this is good ... but, it's also bad ... he can't get to the refrigerator for a beer ....

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Carolyn found out from her tax preparer that we can't deduct our "business" lunches and dinners on our tax returns since we don't get paid for writing this column (bet that's a shocker to you) ... geez, Barry, can the Appeal cough up a dollar for each of us? Or would that be considered "monkey" business? Just wondering ....

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While we are horrified that civilians in Iraq are being killed and kidnapped ... we notice their salaries ... over $100,000 each, or more ... are quite a bit above what our soldiers are getting ... apparently the "oil money" is not being used to help our men and women serving there (or those they leave at home) ... too bad, because they are taking the brunt of the action ... think about it ....

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The high price of gas led us to thinking about what you shouldn't do in church ... you know ... a "tooty" or a "boomer" or a "(put your own favorite name in here) ______" ... we're just surprised the government hasn't figured out a way to collect those ... and tax us for 'em, too ... sign us: baaaaaad girls ....

'Til next time ....

Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.