Dysfunction the word for Super Bowl

Let's do the math... the Super Bowl is bet on by more people than any other event, but Las Vegas can't put an ad on during the game ... Kid Rock can wear an American flag as a poncho, but Move.On and PETA can't have ads because they're "too controversial" ... the half-time show is put on by MTV, known for its raunchy lyrics and skin shots ... but the country is "shocked" by the sight of Janet Jackson's breast, while the commercials make fun of elder abuse, sell beer, and push "erectile dysfunction" products.

Bottom line? It just adds up to a hypocritical NFL, CBS and FCC wanting to engorge their coffers ... sounds like a limp excuse to us ....

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Would somebody like to explain to us why the left turn traffic signals by the Post Office go east and west on Little Lane, instead of north and south on Roop where the traffic is heaviest? Or do we have to be engineers to understand this? Just asking ....

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Carolyn wants to say "farewell and good luck" to Debbie Bauer, the manager of Scolari's pharmacy, on her move to Montana ... She'll be missed ....

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Don't forget the Democratic caucus at Bordewich-Bray school on Saturday from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. ... all Democrats are invited. You can also be registered to vote (even Republicans) ... and if the Republicans are having a caucus in the near future, let us know ... we have an equal opportunity column ... sort of ....

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Steve Garvey, former Dodger first baseman, is coming to town on Wednesday, March 31, to the Community Center for a benefit for the new Western Nevada Community College athletic program. He was the MVP in the 1974 All-star game (and he's cute to boot) and will speak at the dinner to raise funds for the rodeo, soccer and baseball teams that WNCC is starting.

The time is 6-9 p.m., $75 for adults and $50 for kids 16 and under. Baseballs, signed by Steve, will go for $30. For additional information and reservations, call 445-3230. Should be a fun evening for a good cause ... Go Wildcats ....

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Ma Tate thinks the economy is so bad now that it reminds her of the Depression when she had holes in her shoes and sneaked into the Salvation Army to trade them for better ones without paying for them ... shame, shame ... but with her drug and living costs as they are, it's coming to that again ....

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We mentioned that Valentine's Day is Saturday to Skip Thurman ... who informed us that he must be a lesbian because he loves all the ladies ... a sweet sentiment, Skip ... but we don't think it works that way ....

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And since Valentine's Day is coming up ... we will be ever so gracious (draw "sincere" smiles in here _______) for flowers and candy, and all the things we didn't get from our Christmas lists ... just so you know ....

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The United Methodist Church has put out a handy booklet called the "Community Resource Guide," with information on all kinds of resources in Carson City. You can get one at the Senior Citizen's Center, or call the church at 882-1436 ... What a great service ....

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From "Kids' writings" off the Internet: "Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was an actual hysterical figure ...."

"Greeks were a highly sculptured people ... (they) also had myths. A myth is a female moth."

Just so you know...

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And thanks to Stacie Brady for agreeing with us about having to change things before changes can be made ... said it worked for her ....

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The MHJ Poetry Corner: "Stan Martin's Heart"

(No, she doesn't know anyone named Stan Martin ... it just seemed to "fit")

"Stan Martin knew that he should eat

another bowl of Shredded Wheat,

however, what went in his face

was sausage, eggs (to his disgrace)

and deep elation, followed by some

toast and bacon."

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Shakespeare and Dylan Thomas are worried ....

Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write them at editor@ nevadaappeal.com.