Get a picture of yourself in a jail cell

Calling "children of all ages" ... come to the Sheriff's Open House and Youth Fair this coming Saturday at the Sheriff's Office on East Musser Street, from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m ... free hot dogs and drinks (that gets us every time ... doesn't seem to matter what the "cause" is) ... see what opportunities abound in Carson City for youth resources, programs and volunteering.

Most of it's free, but bring a little money for some of the raffles for a computer, bikes (nine of them), and "Sheriff for a Day" (whoa, could we have fun with that, or what?) ... also, there will be demonstrations by those cute SWAT guys, dancing (no, the sheriff or his deputies aren't going to dance ... pity ... it's the Pinkerton Academy, and Irish dancing), horse patrol, photos on motorcycles, etc. You can also have your picture taken in a cell ... "I got jailed in Carson City." So, come one, come all, and join in the fun ... we hope to see you there ....

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We love the story of former UNR president Joe Crowley that goes something like this ... when his plane was delayed on the East Coast for a storm, he had to be rescheduled on another flight. He was told to go stand in another line, which he did, only to find himself with a group of adults from a mental hospital.

Their caretaker was counting them out ... "nine, ten, eleven, twelve ... " when he got to President Crowley. "Excuse me, sir, but who are you?" the caretaker asked.

Dr. Crowley stood tall and replied, "I'm the president of the University of Nevada."

"Sure you are ... thirteen, fourteen, fifteen ...."

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Carolyn has noticed, and Maizie concurs, that the perforations on bills are put just below the fold of the letter that she gets the bills in, making it hard to tear off the "thingy" you're supposed to send back with the payment ... it drives her craaaazy ... one more thing to stress about ... aaaaaargh ....

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The devil is making us put this in ... "Someone" asked the Prez what 9/11 meant to him ... "Oh, that's where I go to get a giant Slurpee ...." (We warned you ... draw evil grin in here _______)

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And, since we're being bad ... Sam and Kay Dupuis of Wellington sent in a copy of a letter that explained the oil crisis/gas price problem. All of our oil is in Alaska, California, Oklahoma and Texas ... but all the dipsticks are in Washington ... 'nuf said ....

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Carolyn lost a dear friend this week, Fred Thomsen ... they worked at the Highway Department together for years ... our deepest sympathy goes out to his family ....

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Auditions for Proscenium Player's "Arsenic and Old Lace" will be held at the Brewery Arts Center this Thursday at 7 p.m. ... if you ever wanted to be Boris Karloff ("Frankenstein") or Bela Lugosi ("Dracula"), Teddy Roosevelt, or two little old ladies who dose lonely old men with elderberry wine ... try out for this classic comedy! For information, call the BAC at 883-1976 ... and be sure and see it in the fall ....

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Have you ever noticed on "Jeopardy" when they have "celebrities" or "power players," that most of them are dumber than a box of rocks? And these are the people that many people "look up to" ... should make you wonder ....

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Thanks to the city and the disposal company for having a contract and not letting our garbage sit in the streets like in Reno ... icky poo ....

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Do the people who put out DimetappND (that's their "non-drowsy" formula for kids) really think that we want the "sickies" awake and running around like mad? Get real ... a nice drowsy medicine for kids ain't all bad. Just ask any mother ....

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Secretary of State Dean Heller really knows how to treat visitors ... he took Maizie's friends, Patty and Woody Sharpe from Salem, Ala., and Terry Ward, up into the capital dome for a great view of Carson City ... great, except for the fact that Patty is afraid of heights ... however, as long as she had a tight grip on the railing, she rallied through, and said it was a highlight of her trip (along with the three days of "snow" that is) ....

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Everyone is "shocked" by the pictures that came out of Abu Ghraib prison ... gee, folks ... haven't you figured out what "war" is yet? It's not for the lily-white or faint-hearted, for sure. And how many guys were raped in "our" prisons in the U.S. this week? Maybe you should be "shocked" there, too ...

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And, if you see Carolyn or Maizie, tell them not to dribble down their fronts when they eat ... it ain't "couth" ....

Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.