Nobody asked us, but...

Who says the WWF isn't alive and well in this area?

The other night (3 a.m. is "night" to us), Carolyn's new 1-year old chocolate lab, "Mocha," decided she had to go outside to do her "duty." So the Big C got out of bed in her jammies, went and opened the door for Mocha, and waited for her to go outside. The dog got one whiff of the cold air, laid down, and refused to move.

Not willing to be awakened and defeated, the Care Bear gave Mocha a nudge, which only prompted her to roll over on her back and look pathetic. A war of the wills began, with Mocha resisting any pushing or nudging toward the door Carolyn could give her.

Finally, C got down on the ground with the dog and wrestled and rolled her outside. All pleas for reentry were ignored as Carolyn went back to bed, and the defeated Mocha was resigned to the back yard for the rest of the night.

"You're a dog," was the last thing she heard, "and if you get me up and won't go outside, you won't get back in until I get up in four more hours." The moral of this story is ... you better know what you want, 'cuz, if you're a dog, you're not going to win a wrestling match with the Big C ...

And since we're speaking of Carolyn, she went to a sexual harassment class last week ... and now knows how to do it ... so she's beginning with Randy Wright ... "lose the 'soul-patch' ... you look like Ty Pennington on Extreme Makeover" ...

Don't forget the "Turkey Drop" at Mike's Pharmacy tomorrow ... that's at 1007 N. Curry from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. They can be any size, but must be frozen (nothing that still gobbles, please) ... KOH will be broadcasting live from Mike's that day ... FISH is also accepting turkeys from now until Christmas (drop off at the office) ... so go out and buy turkeys and help a whole lot of people have a happy Thanksgiving and Christmas ... we thank you, too ...

It's hunting season ... and time for Andy Rooney's definition of "vegetarian" ... it means "lousy hunter."

Has anybody else noticed that the "mad designer" has now hit not only the Post Office parking lot, but Jack-in-the-Box and Scolari's as well? You need a map to navigate through them safely ... but, have you noticed how good the Ormsby House is looking lately ... thar's hope down the pike ...

Lois Hill called us to say that the pedestrian crossing at W. Winnie and N. Division is not well marked where the children cross every weekday for Fritsch school and worries about cars zipping through there. We drove over, and agree that it could use a brighter, new coat of paint to make drivers more aware of the crosswalk (as could the Winnie/Mountain intersection ... although it has stop signs, which slow down the traffic) ... our city workers are great about these things ... the kids and parents thank you, too ...

Did you know that Wal-Mart "outsources" most of their products because of cheap labor (as do other stores)? Jackie Maye wants you to look at labels this year and buy "Made in America" ... it'll cost you more, but it might make a difference and save some jobs here in this country ...

From Andy Harvey ... "A man absolutely hates his wife's cat and decides to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from home and leaving him in a park. He does so, but when he gets home, the cat is walking up the driveway. The next day, he tries again, drives 40 blocks away, drops him off and drives home, only to see the cat in the driveway waiting for him.

Now, infuriated, he drives the cat into the countryside by a very zigzag route, drops him off and waits a while to make sure the cat doesn't know where he is. Hours later, he calls home and asks his wife, "Is the cat there?"

"Yes," she answers, "why do you ask?"

"Put that SOB on the phone ... I'm lost and need directions." Tch, tch, tch ...

To TJ at The Basil ... thanks ... Maizie is better and we'll be in for lunch this week ...

Lastly, to the "politically correct" Patty Crane in Mound House ... Osama bin Laden deserves every slur in the book ... we referred to none other and don't apologize ...

Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.