No need to labor on Labor Day, have some fun

Labor Day is coming up ... a day when most of us try NOT to work ... so there's lots of stuff going on.

Try a ride on the trains at the Nevada State Railroad Museum (and eat a great hamburger fixed by your favorite firemen ... Warren Engine Co.'s best), hear Greg Brown at Adele's on Friday at 8 p.m. (882-3353 for information) or travel up to "Burning Man" in the desert for a wild weekend ... you might even meet up with Carolyn, who will be there, gamboling and being "one with nature," or take in a Carson High football game (they beat Moapa Valley 31-7 on Friday) ... this Friday they play Elko in Carson at 7:30 p.m. (good hamburgers here, too). No excuses not to have fun ... (unless you want to clean out Maizie's garage).

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You've probably read about Chris Whitbeck's appeal to get more referees for Pop Warner football ... he's especially interested in former coaches and football players, but will also train anyone, with or without experience (including women), who have an interest. With the growth of leagues in the area, it is important to have enough officials to cover the games. If you've ever wanted to officiate at games and help the kids in this community, please call him at 849-TEAM (8326), and he will get you started.

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Carolyn found this anonymous poem on the Internet and loved it ... "The computer swallowed grandma. Yes, honestly, it's true. She pressed 'control' and 'enter' and disappeared from view. It devoured her completely, the thought just makes me squirm. She must have caught a virus or been eaten by a worm. I've searched through the recycle bin and files of every kind; I've even used the Internet, but nothing did I find. In desperation, I asked Jeeves my searches to refine. The reply from him was negative, not a thing was found 'online.' So, if inside your 'Inbox,' my Grandma you should see, please 'Copy', 'Scan', and 'Paste' her and send her back to me!"

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Congratulations to Mary Pierczynski for being named "Superintendent of the Year." And a big "thank you" to P. J. Gross for being devoted to our service men and woman ... you can still be matched to one of them by going to http://www.webofsupport.com and asking her to set you up to correspond and support them over there. Also, it was nice to hear that Hawthorne and Reno escaped the BRAC cuts this week ... we could hear their sighs of relief here in Carson ...

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And in a "military" vein ... Al Nicholson sent us this one ... "A Marine in Afghanistan received a 'Dear John' letter from his girlfriend who said she had been sleeping around, wanted to break up, and would he send the pictures of her back? Now, he did what any self-respecting Marine would do ... he went around to all his buddies and asked for any unwanted photos they could give him. He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and without) to his former girlfriend with the following note: "I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."

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Tickets are now on sale at the Brewery Arts Center for the Proscenium Player's 40th season and their reprise production of Larry Shue's "The Foreigner." Prices are $12 general admission, and $10 for seniors, students and PPI and BAC members. It opens on Sept. 16 at 8 p.m. (no late admissions), and continues on Sept. 17, 23, 24 (matinee at 2 p.m.), 30 and Oct. 1. This play is so funny, you'd be smart to wear "Depends" to it ... (for additional information, call 883-1976).

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Happy Birthdays to Bernice DeMar, who turns 90 tomorrow, and Ben Grissom, who turned "half-a-century" this week ... they have "aged" like fine wine ...

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Colonoscopy ... the word turns brave men into jelly, and makes brave women teeter on their heels. Maizie got to have one a week ago, and made it through splendidly ... so much so, that Carolyn contends "she's no longer full of it ... "

Seriously though, the prep and procedure should not scare you, and, if you're over 50, you should probably ask your doctor about scheduling one. Too many people die of colorectal cancer that could have been prevented by having this procedure. It consists of watching your diet two days before you "prep" for the test; then, the day before, you go on a "clear" diet of ginger ale, chicken broth, apple juice (or whatever else your doctor advises) ... take four pills at noon, and drink a half-gallon of "not too bad" tasting stuff in the evening that does indeed clear you out for the test in the morning.

M's doctor, Phil Harper (of GI Consultants), had her hooked up to some "happy juice," and before she knew it ... it was over and he said, "Come back in 10 years" ... which is good, since he must think she's going to live that long. As indelicate as some of you may think this is ... do it anyway ... it could save your life!

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"One Sunday, the pastor of a small church in Kansas found a pink envelope in the collection that contained $1,000. It happened the next Sunday and the next ... so the following week he watched and saw a little old lady dropping in the pink envelope.

Overcome by curiosity, he went up and asked, "Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice you've been putting a large amount of money in our collection every week. Thank you ... but how can you do that?"

"Oh," she said, "my son sends me $10,000 every week from his work in Nevada." "Your son must be very successful," said the pastor.

"Oh, he is," she replied, "he's a veterinarian. He has two cat houses near Las Vegas, and one near Carson City." (Thanks, DeeAnn.)

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Ahhhhh, a real "Christian" ... Pat Robertson calls for the assassination of Venezuela's president, then lies and denies he said it; then, when confronted by the television clips, apologizes and says he didn't mean it. Apparently, he believes Moses came down the mountain with only Eight Commandments ...

n Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.