Stuff we would like to forget, and some we did

Questions that beg to be asked ... does anyone really care who wins the NBA finals? Were you fascinated by the Michael Jackson trial? (Pardon us while we yawn.) And who was surprised when Robert McConnell called off his execution? Just another example of "playing" the system ... and what was the Supreme Court thinking when they axed "medical marijuana?" What about codeine, morphine, or other opiates designed to alleviate pain? What's next? Aspirin? Tylenol??

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Correction: Maizie gets 40 lashes with a wet noodle for spelling Ken Frazer's name Frazier ... she probably thought he was related to Joe ...

She is also getting Alzheimer's ... she forgot a physical therapy appointment with Craig McEwan on Friday at Silver State Fitness and Physical Therapy (there was a "little" excuse ... she had to be reappointed because he had a meeting the day before, and, she had visitors from Alabama, which no doubt clouded her mind); she also introduced Linda and Tom Johnson (whom she's known and loved for lebenty-leben years) as the "Davises" at the reception for the BAC's John Procaccini (which was very nice ... and welcome, John) ... so "mea culpa" to all ... just chalk it all up to a brain fart ...

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Graduations abounded last week ... Reid Lequerica, aka "the Railroad Kid," graduated from the wonderful Mrs. Page's kindergarten at Fritsch; the lovely Maggie Jesse from Carson Middle School; the charming Kaci Kerfeld, and Ashley Stafford, the cute and brilliant, from CHS ... so congratulations to all.

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Redneck "tip of the week:" "Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop, place an order, and when they deliver it, catch a ride home with them."

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A "reader" wrote to us that he thought it would be nice if once in a while the governor would appoint a "blue collar" panel to set legislative salaries (instead of the usual "important" people); i.e., a single parent with a couple of children, a retired state worker, a small business person, a person who works on commission, and a person who makes less than $10 an hour ... he further says it would be nice if they could judge the productivity of the legislative membership and not just that they showed up and voted party lines ... dream on, friend ... the feds could use this idea, By the way ... the Legislature is over ... you can now let out the kids and dogs ... (it's an old joke, but somebody has to say it.)

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"An atheist was walking through the woods thinking, "What majestic trees, what powerful rivers, what beautiful animals ... " He suddenly heard a rustling in the bushes behind him and turned to face a large bear nearly upon him. He shrieked, "Oh my God!" Time stopped, the bear froze, the forest was silent ... and a voice came from a light above ... "You deny my existence and now you expect me to help you?"

The atheist looked up and said, "Yes, I realize it would be hypocritical of me to ask you for help ... but could you make the bear a Christian?" "Very well," said the voice. The light went out, the sounds of the forest resumed. The bear put both paws together, "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive ... "

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Local girl makes good: Laura Hamby, daughter of Carol and Vern Manke, has just had a novella published by Grace Publishing, "Brides and Bouquets." It's in three tales of love, "Anthology of Novellas." Laura is an aspiring novelist and a graduate of UNR ... way to go, girl ...

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One more weekend to enjoy another love story, "Butterflies are Free," at the Brewery Arts Center (883-1976) ... it's a fund raiser for the Brewery put on by Proscenium Players, and is a delight to watch ...

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Wish Pat Josten well (BAC Stage Kids producer and CHS's "drama Mama") ... she has an infection in her leg and has to be in bed for another week or so ... we figure if you took her Chateaubriand or baked Alaska, she would feel a lot better sooner ... (we are available to help you eat it, Pat)

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"An elderly Italian man in Monte Casino went to confession and told the priest that in World War II a beautiful woman had knocked at his door and asked him to hide her. The priest said that was a wonderful thing to do, but the man continued, "Well, Father, she was so grateful, she repaid me with sexual favors." "My son," said the priest, "under the circumstances, people can be tempted to act that way, but if you are truly sorry, you are indeed forgiven."

"Thank you, Father," the man said, "that takes a great load off my mind ... but, may I ask you one more question?" "Of course, my son, what is it?"

"Should I tell her the war is over?"

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The Ormsby House is coming right along ... however, if you want to stay there, you'll have to take a sleeping bag ... and the new Wal-mart is getting there, too ... whoopee ...

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Felicia and John Griffin welcomed the birth of their new daughter, 6 lb., 14 oz. Camille this week (believe us, Camille, that's the last time you'll want to see your weight published) ... State Farm's Bret Andreas got lots of brownie points this week for buying Maizie's lunch unannounced ... many thanks ... and Rick Fozard of Mr. Appliance/Comstock Appliance fixed her refrigerators ... hooray ... this town is full of great people ...

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Regarding embryonic stem cell research ... someone was quoted as saying, "It's not right to destroy life to save life." Really? Then explain Iraq to us ...

And since we're delving into the political ... we're tired of the labels or stereotypes given to people these days ... so get this straight ... all Democrats are not liberal or radical ... all Republicans are not conservative or evangelical ... we think most of the country would appreciate open minds, moderate dialogue, compromise ... so, folks, get it together and challenge all who are so far to the left and right that they can't see a middle ground ... and maybe we can make a difference ...

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Happy Father's Day, dads ... and Happy Birthdays to Betty Andrews, Lucy Adams, Dan Lyons, Stacy Byers, and Norma Conway ...

n Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.