As comedian Rodney Dangerfield used to say, 'I get no respect!'

By Don Quilici

On Saturday evening, March 5, I was one of many hundreds of attendees at the huge, highly-popular, annual Carson Valley Chukar Club fund-raiser.

It was an interesting night that illustrated why I feel like Dangerfield when he used to say, "I get no respect." Here's why:

1. I had written an article several weeks ago about that Chukar Club fund-raiser in which I advised everyone to arrive early due to the anticipated huge crowd and the size of the facility.

When Elaine and I arrived at 4:30 p.m., the ticket takers at the door got all over me for making that announcement, because a good portion of the evening's crowd had arrived before they did!

Geez, I got no respect - from the ticket takers, even before entering that darn building.

2. Once inside, I was first in line to buy drink tickets. Then, I had to wait while the ticket sellers were getting ready, and they also got all over me for being so early.

I got no respect - from the drink ticket sellers.

I finally bought my tickets and wandered over to the bar.

3. At the bar, I got a blank look from the bartender when I ordered one of my beloved Manhattans.

He didn't know how to make a Manhattan. That hurt!

I got no respect from a bartender.

Elaine had to explain to him how to make a Manhattan, and he couldn't find the Sweet Vermouth.

He finally found the vermouth about the time that Cheater No 1 (AKA Norm Budden) and Cheater No. 2 (AKA Bob "Slick" McCulloch) spotted me at the bar.

They rushed up, rudely elbowed Elaine and I out of the way and told the bartender to pour two more of the very same and that I would pay for their drinks.

I got no respect - from the two cheaters - as usual.

Hmmm, I wonder if the phrase "Two Conniving Cheapskates" fits those two? I think so!

3. Then, after paying for all of those drinks, Elaine and I wandered off, found our reserved seats in front of the stage, sat down and lo and behold, I was seated right across from longtime friend and fishing partner, Don Hettrick.

I proceeded to get all over him because McCulloch had told me, at the bar, that Hettrick was spreading stories all over town about my lack of fish catching ability.

I confronted him, face to face, and asked if that were true.

Hettrick slyly grinned and solemnly replied that McCulloch was actually the liar because the two of us were "Fishing Partners" and he would never lie to me.

I get no respect, so I wasn't sure about trusting him, but I let it pass for the time being.

4. About that time, Kerry Kilgore stopped at our table and told me that Hettrick was trying to sell one of his three fishing boats.

The part that really hurt was when Kilgore said that he refused to buy the boat because Hettrick told him that if he bought the boat, Don Q went along with it.

When I whirled around and confronted Hettrick, he couldn't stop laughing about Kilgore rejecting his offer. That really hurt!

I got no respect - from my own fishing partner. Geez!

5. Then, a raffle ticket seller stopped and asked if our group wanted to buy any raffle tickets. I replied, "You bet!"

However, Elaine told the ticket seller she wanted to buy her own tickets, separate from me, as I am unlucky and have never won at the raffle drawings. That really hurt, too!

I got no respect - from my wife.

6. During the course of the evening's program, as raffle tickets were being drawn, our group at our table was winless. Time after time, tickets were drawn and no one was a winner. Finally, someone suggested that I must be a jinx and that I be banned to another table.

That hurt, but the part that hurt the worst was that Elaine agreed with them!

I got no respect - from all of them and my own wife!

7. Then, it happened: On raffle item No. 73, one of Elaine's tickets was a winner. Everyone in our group cheered, gave her a "High Five" and even the three guys on the stage (Ron Pierini, Lance Modispacher and Dennis Hudson) got all over me for being a loser.

I got no respect - from everyone.

Aw to heck with it!

n Bet Your Favorite Pigeon

Bet your favorite pigeon he can't tell you how many years I have been unsuccessful in winning a raffle prize at the Chukar Club.

If he grins and says, "This was the 18th out of 18 years," he could be one of countless folks who love to tease me about it.

n Don Quilici is the Outdoors editor for the Nevada Appeal.