What is more important than sharing your life with an honest, decent human being? I hope the answer is nothing! If you think for a minute anything takes precedent over sharing your life with someone then you do not know the meaning of love.
Ask a dying person what they long for? A great career, a title after their name, a beautiful empty home or a devoted pet cannot take the place of someone who holds you dear and puts you above everything.
Oh, those people do not exist in your world? Well,maybe you have been looking in the wrong places or making social decisions based on the baggage left over from your last calamity of a relationship or worse yet, something carried over from the family tradition?
How did you spend your holidays? What resolutions did you make for yourself where your social life is concerned? Why is it that we spend many years and a lot of money to educate ourselves for a career and just expect someone special to wander into our lives? It isn't realistic! Meeting someone that fits your criteria and finding someone that is looking for a person with your qualities takes a lot of time,money and energy and yet, most people invest very little in meeting someone.
Recently a friend of mine, a professional woman who owns her own business, in her 30s, cute as a button and smart as a whip told me her "weather man" and she were doing great.
She met the weather man on an online dating site.
She added,"Took me over two years to meet one decent man!" I am thrilled for her and hope this is the one, but "over two years?"
What is two years of your time, hope and psyche worth? Another woman I met at a women's professional meeting is a broker at a stock firm.As we discussed her lack of social life, her disastrous date with a man nearly 20 years her junior who, she explained brought a pizza and horror video to her home for a first date told me she did not have time to schedule an appointment with a professional introduction service and was not sure she could afford the service.
I immediately wondered how many more bad dates she is willing to invest in before she gives up on her social life all together.
With people working 60 hours per week, balancing children, exes, home ownership, yards to mow, snow to shovel, groceries, car repairs, pets, doctor and dentist appointments and everything else we cram into a 2006 life, why do you still expect someone special to wander aimlessly into your life and live happily ever after? How can smart people be so dumb when it comes to their love life?
In the United States,we have a 56 percent divorce rate for first marriages and 63 percent divorce rate for second marriages.
This has to be attributed to bad decisions and uninformed choices.
Getting a divorce should be devastating! How do you bury your future without feeling your hope begin to fade? How do you face another "new" year wishing and hoping and waiting for something that may never find you?
If the definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting different results, how crazy are you when it comes to your love life? Why do you feel true love works for others but not you? What scars are burdening your soul to keep you from meeting someone and sharing your life? Meeting someone requires a commitment.
Having someone special with whom you share the daily trials and tribulations requires work.
Now, before you smirk you do not have time for someone, what are you filling your life with to keep you from experiencing the greatest joy of life? Join an organization, a book club, a gym.
Smile at strangers and risk a bad first date for the promise of a lifetime of happiness.Do something different to meet someone different.
Call an introduction service and be honest about what you want in another person and why that is important to you.Most importantly, start being honest with yourself about the importance of having someone to share your life.
Honest communication should be the foundation of all great relationships.
Honesty begins with the person in the mirror.Without acceptance of your past and hope for the future, where will you be next Christmas? With whom will you share 2006?
Tressa O'Lear is President of Together, a Personalized Introduction Service in Reno, NV, since 1994.
