If you have eyes, ears, and a TV, radio, or newspaper, you have seen and heard a lot of bad news lately. The political/financial mess at home and abroad, wars (as always), politicians intentionally stirring rancor, and all the other painful difficulties that we hear about in the news give a sense that the world is in a mess and getting worse all the time. And that does not even include our personal problems!
Given what is happening it is no wonder that most of us live with a subtle sense of unease most of the time. This is not a modern problem for humans. There is a genetically programmed bias that we have for the negative. We are hardwired to look for something wrong, and once found, to get focused on it.
This makes perfect sense for survival. If we did not have this tendency to be worried and uneasy about life our species probably would not have survived. Our ancestors who had a feeling that something was wrong and who anxiously scanned the environment till they found it were much more likely to survive than those who had a more relaxed attitude. The problem is that what works well for survival does not work so well for happiness.
While it is possible to be in denial about problems, the far greater human tendency is to be in denial about how well things are going. Any moment, if you were to lay out every fact about your life the list of what is going well would far outnumber the list of problems. Humans are subject to loss, sorrow, physical illness and pain, and no one is exempt. And yet at the same time, gravity is working, we still have air to breathe, the sun still provides the energy to grow food and lift moisture from the oceans into the atmosphere for clouds and rain, and on and on.
The list of what is working is practically infinite. The list of what is not working is real, but probably quite short in comparison.
What I am not suggesting is that we should get off our pity pots and just start thinking more positively. Good psychological research shows that merely trying to think positive is not effective at changing the way you view your experience.
I am suggesting something much more radical than positive thinking. What I am inviting you (and me) to do is to notice that you are OK: Notice that you are alive, notice your breathing, notice the temperature of the air. Be in touch with the present moment and remind yourself that you are alright right now.
Without ignoring our problems and pain, we can also choose to be aware of the "OKness" of the present moment. Accepting pain, but being present to a larger sense of life is one of the most powerful things we can do. Take a moment, take a breath, and remind yourself that you are alright. You do not have to try to be positive, just be in the moment with the real positives that are there.
• Psychotherapist Grant Clowers, who maintains a private practice in Carson City, specializes in therapy for anxiety and depression.
