Is your work your source of identity? Finding your true priorities

Society reinforces the idea that our work determines our worth. What is the first question asked of a man in a social conversation? "What do you do for a living?" If he doesn't have a good answer, society wonders what is wrong with him.

Sometimes women experience the same problem. If she chooses to stay home and care for her children, she is somehow thought to be inferior to the woman who works outside the home. Nothing could be further from the truth. Motherhood is one of the most honorable jobs!

Many people approaching retirement have never considered who they are outside of their jobs. They don't know what they are going to

do with their lives after work. Millions of men and women define themselves solely by their employment. If your work is unfulfilling or boring, the rest of your life can become that way too.

There are those that believe their job title speaks volumes about who they are. It doesn't. It is just a job. Our work allows us to make an income to get some of our financial needs met. The question we could first ask one another might be, "Besides work, what are the most important priorities in your life?" Work is an important part of our lives, but it isn't everything. We spend our highest energy hours working, so it is important to like or even love what we do. But it is even more important to remember that our non-work time is equally important. How arewe treating our family and friends? How are we treating our health? Emerson said, "Your health is your wealth." Frankly, without our health it is very difficult to focus on the other important areas of our lives.

We need to remember:

* To prioritize what is really important.

* To take time for those we love.

* To encourage ourselves and others.

* To really listen even when we don't feel like it.

* To always remember that we're all in this together.

* To show respect for ourselves and others.

Whatever your current self-image, you can choose to change. Our lives are a sum total of all of the decisions we've made throughout the years. In fact, one decision can change your life forever. The most adverse conditioning can be overcome. If your father was a workaholic, there's a good chance that you will become one also. But you don't have to be one anymore.

To be successful, we need to eliminate old thought patterns. No one else has your fingerprints, thoughts or your way of seeing and doing things.

Don't be afraid to take new risks. Who knows what you can achieve tomorrow if you take more? Try a new adventure, learn a new skill or befriend a new person. It may change your life.

Jane Boucher is an author and professional speaker with offices in Reno. Reach her at 853-0226 or jane@janeboucher.com.