The Popcorn Stand: No Yankees, so I don’t have to move to Canada

I don’t have to move to Canada. I proclaimed I would move to Canada if the New York Yankees and the Los Angeles Dodgers were in the World Series. I know. I know. I know. A classic World Series everybody wanted, right? I don’t think so.

Yes, New York and Los Angeles are the country’s two largest markets. But did anybody outside of Los Angeles and New York or any other Dodger and Yankee fans really want to see a Yankees-Dodgers World Series?

You really think people in San Francisco, Chicago, Boston or Houston wanted to see a Yankees-Dodgers World Series? Rooting for the Dodgers or Yankees is like rooting, well, rooting for the Soviet Union to beat the 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Team.

Thank goodness the Astros were able to beat the Evil Empire. An Evil Empire-LADs World Series just would’ve been too much to take. I would’ve gone to Canada. Or at least Alaska. It would’ve been enough for me to proclaim like Homer Simpson, “I like it here in Alaska and I’m never going back to America again.”

At least now I, like virtually the rest of the country outside of La La Land, can root for the Astros to beat the LADs. As a Giants fan it’s still pretty cool to make statements like, “I like the 80s but it’s nice to not have to go back that far to remember the last time my team won a World Series.”

Not that it’s bad the Dodgers and Yankees are good. We need Evil Empires, villains to root against. It would be no fun to root against the Yankees and Dodgers if they weren’t any good. That would be like rooting against the Florida Marlins.

All I’ve got to say to Houston is if the Dodgers win the World Series, we’ve really got a problem.

— Charles Whisnand