The Popcorn Stand: He should’ve gotten the Curly shuffle

I love the Three Stooges but not enough to want a haircut to look like one of them. When I was 5 years old, I had a haircut like Curly and hated it. But I would still prefer Curly’s shaved head over Moe’s mop top or Larry’s — whatever Larry’s was.

I think the only people who ever pulled off a mop top haircut were The Beatles. I guess the secret of a mop top is to actually not look like a mop top. Moe always looked like a mop top. And from what I can tell, mop top haircuts — not real mop top haircuts but sort of mop top hair cuts — seem to be trending with Millennial men.

But that’s not what I wanted to talk about. I never thought a hairstylist could be arrested for a bad haircut, but it apparently happened in Madison, Wisconsin. The 22-year-old male victim apparently was fidgeting and moving too much for the hairdresser, 46-year-old Khaled A. Shabani. Shabani allegedly ended up nicking the victim’s ear and then ran clippers down the middle of the man’s head “leaving him looking a bit like Larry from ‘The Three Stooges.’”

For whatever reason the victim wasn’t identified I guess because he’s too embarrassed and doesn’t want anyone to know he looks like Larry from The Three Stooges. But Shabani, who said what happened was an accident, actually was arrested and had to enter a plea of not guilty to disorderly conduct. I guess disorderly conduct is the closest thing to covering a bad haircut. (And yes I hope you caught that subtle pun).

My guess is when Shabani was “offering” to give the victim a haircut to make him look like Larry from the Three Stooges, the victim didn’t say, “Why Certainly!”

— Charles Whisnand