The Popcorn Stand: What if a cheeto was shaped like a shark

Shark Week is coming back to Discovery Channel on Sunday and evidently sharks aren’t enough for Shark Week.

Last year, Shark Week featured Michael Phelps racing a shark, er, actually sort of simulating a race with a shark. Phelps didn’t actually race a shark, so Discovery’s promo of Phelps racing a shark, well really it bordered on fraud.

Now Discovery is bringing Shaquille O’Neal into Shark Week as Shaq is going to be a part of the coverage.

The old fuddy duddy doesn’t care for how reality TV has infected virtually every network on television. So educational and history channels, like Discovery and History, which used to be, you know, educational and history channels, have now become reality channels.

The Discovery Channel providing an educational week about sharks used to be enough. But no more.

I really have no idea what a former 7-foot-plus NBA star is going to add to Shark Week and I’m probably not going to find out. I guess a former 7-foot-plus NBA star up close to sharks is supposed to be entertaining, I don’t know.

Maybe next year, Usain Bolt can be featured on Shark Week. You know, maybe compare how one of the fastest men in the world compares to how fast a shark is.

I’m waiting for Henry Winkler to be featured on Shark Week in which he does jump a shark.

Remember when Fonzie literally “jumped the shark” on “Happy Days” and that became a phrase for when a show has lost its creativity.

Well, a week of shows that’s literally about sharks is coming close to figuratively “jumping the shark.”

— Charles Whisnand