Jesse Felker
It’s 1993 in Gurnee, Ill., I’ve just turned 5 and I’m fidgeting in class waiting to be cast in the kindergarten class play “The Ugly Duckling.” Only a select few from each class have been chosen to participate. My teacher is reading out students who have been cast in the play along with their characters. “Jessica Felker,” she calls out, “You have been cast as the Ugly Duckling.” The entire class roared with laughter, all except me. A smile crept across my face, I didn’t care if this meant I was ugly, I was cast as the star of the kindergarten play. Looking back knowing what I know now, I was the ugly duckling, and that role would set the precedent for the life that lay ahead.
At some point in our lives, we’ve all had someone tell us we couldn’t do something. We’ve been laughed at for being overly ambitious, mocked for having dreams, and maybe even told we’d never amount to anything. If people knew my back story, they’d be asking the question “how?” How did you of all people make it?
I’m going to share some personal experiences to show you how to use adversity as catalysts for success. Many of the stories I will share will hit on similar themes. Below I’ll break down each lesson for you.
Believe in yourself. Yes, this sounds cliché, but is hands down the number one reason I have found success. It’s no coincidence that many narcissists are successful. What do most narcissists have in common? Confidence. If my father were alive today, he’d be the first to tell you I’m overconfident. My entire life people saw me differently than I saw myself. I made it a point to prove to them that they were wrong about me. Self-doubt kills success before it even has a chance to start.
Don’t be afraid to fail. Failure is key to success. I’ve never believed in quitting, only in failing. With my athletes, I will tell them to do an exercise to failure and often they quit before they fail for the simple fact that we are trained to fear failure. I’ll make them re-attempt exercise and to their surprise, they will end up doing more than they believed they could. When I first started my business, I truly believed I’d fail but that didn’t stop me from trying. I’d rather fail than quit.
Better late than never. Often, we feel too old to try something new or start something new. When we were kids we were encouraged to try new things daily; why does that stop when we become adults? Time should never be a limiting factor. We’ve all heard stories about a 60-year-old going back to school and getting their doctorate. It took me seven years post-high school to get a degree; don’t let time or age limit you.
Use adversity as a means to grow. When hardships come your way face them head on. What looks like the end of the world is exactly what we need to force us from our comfort zone. Russell Wilson has a saying, “Instead of asking yourself why me, ask yourself why not me?” We’ve all faced hardship whether internal, external, or both. I believed COVID would be the breaking point in my career, instead, it had the opposite effect. The gym closures and struggles during that time pushed me to make some big and scary decisions; decisions that forced me to open my first business.
Be optimistic. I once asked my sister what my biggest flaw was, her response, “You're too optimistic.” Throughout my adolescence and early adult years, I applied for jobs knowing I was underqualified and inexperienced. Although I struggled in school, I always found a way to learn the content and pass the class. I used this same mindset when searching for a career path. One also can assume, that having a positive mindset will help with all of the lessons started above.
At NCET’s March 27 Biz Bite Luncheon, Jesse Felker will bring attention to facing adversity, and using passion to propel your success.
NCET is a member-supported nonprofit organization that produces educational and networking events to help people explore business and technology.
Jesse Felker is a professional trainer, semi-pro football player, and the 2022 WFA American Conference MVP. Jesse is passionate about helping athletes reach their full potential, and has nearly a decade of experience specializing in youth athlete development.
